The mommy blog: It seems innocent enough; A woman sits down each day and types out her thoughts, feelings about hearth and home, the occasional recipe or craft idea, but the reading of mommy blogs can be perilous for the new mom or mommy to be. Here’s an example of why:
“Hi, my name is Melody. I have a beautiful home with two gorgeous daughters and a loving and devoted husband. I run my own organic skincare business, and am also a freelance writer for numerous blogs, and The Country Music Association. I am also a published poet. I make most of my family’s food from scratch, I love to work in my garden, I meditate twice a day, my four year old is already reading chapter books, and I am still nursing my almost two year old, who I delivered totally naturally only seven minutes after arriving at the ER.”
I sound fantastic, right? It seems like I am the paragon of the Supermom. I am not a betting woman, but if I were, I would bet on these two things; 1) In reading my above description you at some point thought something along the line of, “I should be doing that.” or, “why isn’t my life that together?”, and 2) You probably kind of hate me. Just a little? It’s okay, you can admit it. I would kind of hate me too.
Often, the problem with mommy blogs is that, in our attempt to shine, to make others like us more, or even to make ourselves feel better about our own day to day lives, we sometimes create a false image that not only distances us from our readers, but can make them feel bad because the author seems “too perfect,” too unattainable. Who needs that? No one, that’s who. We moms have enough unrealistic expectations to deal with. (I’m looking at you Heidi Klum!) We’ve got to stick together. With that in mind, let’s try my intro again.
Hi, my name is Melody (but mostly I only respond if you are yelling, “momma!” so you may want to try that first.) I have a beautiful home (don’t look in the garage or open the closets, please), two gorgeous daughters (one is currently covered in oatmeal, and the other is literally doing laps around the house) and a loving and devoted husband (who has adult ADHD, which brings it’s own set of issues.) I run my own organic skincare business (mostly in the wee hours of the morning which is the only time I can find), and am also a freelance writer for numerous (two) blogs, and The Country Music Association (I wrote the copy for their Awards show brochure two years running. That’s it.). I am also a published poet (Once. I was published one time, and years ago.) I make most of my family’s food from scratch (Because my eldest is the pickiest eater in the world, and my youngest is allergic to everything.), I love to work in my garden (Which is currently a barren wasteland), I meditate twice a day (Usually right before I fall asleep, and in the bathroom. That’s right. I hide in the bathroom to meditate.), my four year old is already reading chapter books (Okay, that part is just true, and I am so proud I could burst, so I wanted to share.), and I am still nursing my almost two year old (She has never slept through the night. Not once.), who I delivered totally naturally only seven minutes after arriving at the ER (She was almost born in the car because I was scared to go to the hospital, and with my first daughter I was induced and had an epidural.)
See what I did there? That first paragraph was the just good parts version. It is not that any of those things are untrue, and I am, in fact, very proud of my life and work. But I can be proud, and still admit that I have not showered in three days, and my girls have the occasional kid’s meal when Mommy is having a “done” day.
So, the next time you read a mommy blog that causes you to self-shame and think, “I am worthless. I don’t do enough. She seems to have it all together. What’s wrong with me?” Take a moment, sit down, and write out your life…the good parts version. If you put enough spin on anything, it all blurs and starts to look the same. The truth is that every house has dust bunnies. All couples fight sometimes. Four year olds can be gross, regardless of gender. No amount of crafting, baking, yoga, or organization will make you a better person, unless you are doing it because you want to, and not because a blog you found on Pinterest made you feel less-than. Do what you love, be who you are, hug your babies, and have the occasional cupcake. You’re in good company. The grass always seems greener, it’s true, but nine times out of ten, if you look closely enough you’ll see it is astroturf, or it’s painted. Nothing drives my point home quite like the existence of green lawn paint. It’s real. Google it.